Stay in Love By Avoiding These Bad Relationship Habits
“It’s surprising how much I enjoy the direction of my wife. She’s decisive, incredibly intuitive, and might I say, sexy at her post. I trust her with my life.” These were the words of just months before Brad and Angelina filed for a divorce. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie aka Brangelina, was the ultimate power pair of Hollywood until they shockingly ended their 12 years of togetherness in 2016.
They fell in love with each other on the set of Mr. & Mrs. Smith and tied the knot in 2014. Their sudden divorce statement created a stir in the biz world. What’s more disturbing is that just months before their split, Brad and Angelina were seen gushing about each other like a new couple truly, madly, and deeply in love with no sign of unrest in their perfectly happy relationship.
It’s hurtful to see how a well-worked relationship, like that of Brad and Angelina, could end in separation. And that too when during the entire tenure of the marriage, no one, including the two of them, was aware that their relationship was actually becoming toxic and heading towards a bitter end.
One of the biggest causes of the fall of a strong and well-worked relationship is the sweet things that you do which secretly might appear sweet on the surface but actually be a poison to your relationship. Being aware of these sweet poisons is inescapable to stop them from ruining your precious relationship with your beloved.
That said; below are 5 sweet poisons you should keep away from a relationship. So just read on…
Keeping Your Love As Center Of The Universe
“You’re the center of my world that place in my universe. To me you’re every dream I dream, the air I breathe. You’re the center of my world.”
You love them, you adore them and your thoughts revolve around them. In fact your thoughts and plans start and end with them and you will do everything in your might to keep your sweetheart happy. Well, there are a number of love-struck out there who feel that loving their beloved to the zenith and keeping them as the center of the universe is the sweetest thing in the world.
Showering your beloved with endless love is an integral part of your relationship. And this is necessary as well. You need to give your all to your partner to enjoy a loving and healthy relationship. However, you might not notice when your excessive love and attention cross that brink and becomes a sweet poison for your relationship. Your undue love and attention might become your darling’s tension and gradually they might feel suffocated in the relationship.
Being Together Everywhere, Every Time
“Even if I spent the whole day with you, I will miss you the second you leave.”
You love being with your sweetheart and you just can’t seem to have enough of them. You want to spend each and every moment in the company of your beloved. You have changed your work route to spend those extra hours of traveling with your lover and you just love having the love of your life around you all the time. This is a common notion of love that most couples, who are truly, madly, deeply in love, share.
It is important that you spend quality time together and enjoy each other’s company. After all, it’s the little things that you do together that defines the true meaning of love. However, being together everywhere and every time might isolate you from the rest of the world and make you the sole receiver of your partner’s moods and emotions. While you need to make the best of every moment with your love, spending every hour of the day together may actually be a sweet poison that you should keep away from your relationship.
Adjusting To The Limits Of Sacrificing
“Happiness comes from… Some curious adjustments to life”
You intentionally consume the minimum portion of that favorite dish you have ordered, just to see your beloved gets the larger share, you eagerly wish to attend the alumni-meet but don’t do so to look after you partner’s seasonal cold, splurge on a valentine gift that ends up trimming down your monthly travel budget or even started waking up early just to have that morning tea together. Well, there are a number of adjustments that a person makes in a relationship to keep it strong and healthy.
Adjusting for the love of your partner is inevitable in a relationship. From giving up the bad habits to making changes in your lifestyle to suit your partner’s needs, there are a number of compromises that a partner makes to keep a relationship healthy and happy. However, adjusting to the limits of sacrifice can be toxic for your relationship. Too much of adjustment can be a sweet poison in your relationship if the adjustments are imbalanced and only one-sided. The question of “why should I be the one giving up what I want?” will gradually arise and take down your relationship.
Agreeing On Everything, Always
“They didn’t agree on much. In fact, they rarely agreed on anything. They fought all the time and they challenged each other every day… But in spite of their differences, they had one important thing in common, they were crazy about each other.”
You agree with the choices of your beloved and you also agree with all the decisions they make for your relationship. You make sure that there are minimum disagreements in your relationship. Many couples out there feel that agreement on every topic is indispensable for a healthy relationship…when actually this is not all that true.
In a relationship, you need to be on the same page with your partner. Be it about the small things like the dinner menu or the bigger decisions like moving to a new city for work, mutual agreement is the soul of a healthy relationship. However, agreeing on everything and that too always can be the sweetest poison for your relationship. Agreeing on everything snatches away the spice and spark from a relationship. This kills the fun of being challenged and somewhat brings boredom in communication. The little disagreements that you have and then agreeing to disagree on those things is the recipe for a strong and healthy relationship.
Having A Common Friend Circle
“All her friends are mine and all of mine are hers. Yes, we share the same group of friends.”
You have a common group of friends hence you talk to same people, share stories and gossip with same people, hang out with same people and even travel out with the same people. What better…you know them for so long, may be they were a reason you are together, may be they are the strongest source of details through which you get to know your partner more closely so it is obvious that hanging out with them is the most enjoyable and fun.
Moreover having a common friend circle might just feel like the best thing as a couple because there is no scope for doubts or jealousy if your beloved is hanging out or enjoying the company of a common friend. You always have a common friend to hear out both the sides impartially whenever you get into a fight.
However, a common friend circle may become a sweet poison and unintentionally ruin your love bond. Sometimes you start being judgmental about your partner’s behavior with friends, sometimes your friends may pass on unnecessary information or rumors or even disclose some very old secrets you don’t want to be shared now, and all this may rupture your relationship big time. Rare, but happens that monotony of meeting up the same people together might also eat up your relationship.
On An Ending Note…
You may relate to few points we have discussed and may be analyzing the share of that sweet poison in your relationship. The list of such poison can’t be standard and comprehensive like the uniqueness and infinity of love you share, but this may be just a clue to have a recheck on all those tips and tricks you were stringently following to make your relationship happy and ideal.
ContributorAnkit Gupta is from Delhi India, He heads the content marketing team at ExportersIndia.com. He has been happily married for the past many years and loves to pen down his thoughts and learnings about relationship and marriage. You can get an insight on his other write-up by following him on his Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+ accounts.