5 ways to Get Your Relationship Groove Back
Sometimes, it’s too easy.
Too easy to take each other for granted.
Too easy to become lazy.
Too easy to get used to each other.
Too easy to go on the same date, watch the same movie, and complain about that same co-worker. Again.
Yea, boredom is easy. So much so that you won’t see it coming. Until one day you begin to wonder what happened to the times when everything about your relationship was exciting. The days when she would surprise you with that little gift only she knew you wanted. Or the days when he somehow turned every activity you did together into an exciting adventure.
But boredom doesn’t happen overnight. Little by little, you go from curiosity to predictability. You slowly transition from sending each other subtle messages of hope to constantly expressing your disapproval for unmet expectations. And over time, that excitement of what could happen next gets replaced with security and comfort of what will happen next.
Although it’s an awesome feeling to know you have an amazing partner that will always be there for you when you need them, too much predictability can lead to feelings of complacency or indifference.
5 Ways to Get Your Relationship’s Groove Back
SPEND LESS TIME TOGETHER
Sounds counter-intuitive, right? Well, what’s a faster way to boredom than spending ALL your time together? Take an agreed amount of time off to either do something by yourself or get out with some friends and give him or her time to miss you. Your ‘we’ time will be that much more exciting after the time apart.
EXPLORE NEW PLACES TOGETHER
Take some time to explore a new area together. You don’t have to get two tickets to another country to do so either. Maybe you can bike on that trail you’ve never been to or go for a walk on the other side of town. If you’ve got some extra cash, head over to a neighboring town for the weekend.
FIND SOMETHING NEW TO TALK ABOUT
If you find talking your partner getting boring, it’s time to make some changes. Communication shouldn’t be a chore and can easily become routine when you regularly use your partner as a sounding board for your stressed out work day. Find a book on a new and interesting topic, a documentary on something your partner is passionate about or you can even purchase convo starters, like these here to spark dialogue that will help you grow as a couple.
MAKE NEW FRIENDS TOGETHER
Research shows that building friendships with other couples has benefits in making you happier and feeling closer to your partner. So the next time you’re planning a date together, invite some friends!
If you’re not regularly going on dates together, what ARE you doing? Get out of the house and go somewhere!
If you are regularly going on dates, don’t get comfortable frequenting the same places over and over again. Try experiencing a new restaurant in a new neighborhood or taking a dancing or cooking class together. Think outside the box and do something that’s cooperative and fun for the both of you.
The fact is, it’s vital to regularly and spontaneously inject some excitement into your relationship to keep that initial spark alive. Don’t let this list be your limit either. Get creative with it. It’s the little things that often bring the most excitement to a relationship.
What say you, friends?
What are some signs you’ve experienced that show your relationship might be getting a bit monotonous? What steps did you try to get that excitement back into it?
New YorkPeanut butter aficionado, relationship coach and founder of [co]3 Studio, Gen-Y’s Premiere Relationship Studio, Jay Cadet is on a mission to help unmarried, millennial couples build the most strong and healthy relationships possible. For more on relationship tips and advice, couples events and private coaching opportunities, visit co3Studio.com