3 Habits Happy Couples Kick to the Curb
We all bring habits into our relationship. The question is, are your habits strengthening your connection or are they slowly driving you apart? We’re rarely aware of how our habits are affecting our relationship until someone [like an awesome relationship coach] points them out. So here are a few unhealthy habits that you might not even be aware are hurting your relationship…
The stereotypes usually point out the ladies giving the silent treatment [with the mean mug to match] when they don’t get their way, but the fellas aren’t exempt from this one either. Not only is it ineffective way to let your partner know that you’re upset, but it only leaves problems unresolved and you more prone to blowing up about the issue later.
If you’re too upset to discuss the issue in the moment, instead of ignoring your mate, let them know you need some time to cool off before you can come back to handle the issue again, together. Learn to give your partner the respect to fill them in on what’s going on in your head even when it isn’t convenient for you. Wouldn’t you want the same if the roles were switched?
Comparing Your Relationship to Others
It can be SO easy to point to another person or relationship when proving a point to your partner that you can often forget how unhealthy of a habit it really is.
No two relationships are alike. Because something worked for someone else doesn’t mean it will work for you and your mate. So judging the quality of your relationship or partner based on that isn’t very useful. And while looking to outside relationships can sometimes offer some insight to your own, you’re comparing your behind the scenes struggles and challenges with someone else’s successes. The grass is rarely as greener on the other side because you don’t have all the necessary information to make that assumption.
Instead of making comparisons to other or past relationships, use that energy to assess and appreciate the unique qualities that you and your mate bring to the table to make your relationship work better for you.
Couples who aren’t open and honest about what matters in their relationship are always stressed out. Why? Because they’re always concerned about the stability of the future of the relationship. Or wondering where their partner stands on critical issues. And if there’s something couples in great relationships have NO time for, it’s spending valuable time and energy on trying to figure out what’s in each other’s head.
So while I’m sure your partner is flattered you think they can read your mind, they can’t. When a problem or concern comes up, don’t be afraid to talk it out. Communicate the things that are important to you like your values, priorities and feelings so you don’t have to waste time waiting for your mate to read your mind.
Even studies show that couples are less stressed talking out these challenges than keeping their feelings bottled up. Make it a habit to be up front and honest with your partner about what’s on your mind. Your relationship will thank you for it.
So what habits have you struggled with letting go? Was it worth it? How’d it affect your relationship for the better?
New YorkPeanut butter aficionado, relationship coach and founder of [co]3 Studio, Gen-Y’s Premiere Relationship Studio, Jay Cadet is on a mission to help unmarried, millennial couples build the most strong and healthy relationships possible. For more on relationship tips and advice, couples events and private coaching opportunities, visit co3Studio.com