Most people, at heart, believe in finding their other half. Trying to find Mr. or Mrs. Right may be at the top of your mind as you approach your 30s, but what if you already found your soul mate?

Call it 21st century thinking, but that “special someone” could just be a friend who enriches and empowers your life. This perfect person knows you fully and encourages you in ways no one else will. They enlighten you, and somehow, you have an intense emotional, spiritual, and mental connection with them. It may be a man or a woman, but in reality, it may be your best friend.

Generally, people find it difficult to trust others. It is especially difficult to find long-lasting love and true friends as a young adult. College students have a tough time dating in general. Tessa Climer, a sophomore at Shenandoah University, still believes in the concept and has hope for the future.

When asked if she believed in the concept of a soul connection, whether it is a friend or lover, she answered, “I do, indeed. I think there are both of them. I have a friend, Erin, who I’ve been with for most of my life. I consider her to be my friend soul mate, but I also believe in a love soul mate. I believe one day I will find my soul mate in that sense.”

What to Think About When Looking for Your Soul Mate

Naturally, when asked “what you look for in a significant other” – the answers includes some variety of good looks, intelligence, and a sense of humor. Some people even go so far as to look for these characteristics in all of their friends. A soul mate goes far beyond those points. This perfect person must be able to connect with you almost spiritually. What are the different factors to think about when looking for that ideal companion?

Know the Person

It takes a while to understand the different characteristics and quirks of a person, but there shouldn’t be a set time period as to when you completely know someone. You will have an initial attraction to this person, but remember to keep your personal space before diving head first into a relationship. Is this person trustworthy yet? Don’t just cling onto someone.

Attraction v. Love

This mostly applies to the romantic sense of the concept of a soul mate. There is a difference between chemistry and romantic love. Put aside physical appearances and think about personality instead. Whoever this person is should have his or her heart set in similar places as yours. He or she should essentially be a good person in your eyes and have a giving heart. And there should be room in that heart for you. If this person only thinks solely about him or herself, there probably isn’t any space for you in that bubble.

There Is No Such Thing as a Perfect Person

Everyone has flaws, including you. Your soul mate will get under your skin no matter how perfect he or she is for you. This person will have habits that annoy you, but the point of an everlasting relationship is to accept those flaws for what they are. Don’t focus on them. Focus on the positive aspects about his or her personality.

Know Yourself

It’s easy to think that the person is going to come waltzing in at the perfect moment, but you have to be prepared for that moment. Understand your flaws and strengths because those will help you in maintaining good relationships in general. Be comfortable in your own skin, and be proud of who you are. Remember, you don’t need a perfect person to complete you. That perfect person, when he or she comes along, will complement all your unique qualities.

Understand that you will need to keep an open mind. When you find this perfect person, keep working at it every single day. The Counseling and Mental Health Center at the University of Texas at Austin outlines how to build a relationship and maintain it. Try to maintain your other relationships, because you never know. Someone near you may be an ideal soul mate.

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Renee Sogueco


Winchester, VA

Renee attends Shenandoah University as a Mass Communications and Political Science double major. She is a 5'3" Filipina and constantly searches for new adventures, different perspectives and new pesco-vegetarian friendly recipes.

All posts by Renee Sogueco

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