We ALL have ‘em. And despite what a lot of folks may say, there’s nothing wrong with that.

So what does that have to do with sh****ing on your relationship?

Well, when those expectations are left unspoken, they often show up as shoulds. And shoulds are like termites in your relationship.

You know….

“He should know I want to spend our weekends together.”

“After all this time together, she should know that I’m not in a rush to get married.”

“I shouldn’t have to work on the relationship, it should be great naturally.”

I mean, seriously. Don’t you hate being at the other end of those?


Lemme Please You.

I’m sure your partner is flattered you think he/she can read your mind, but they can’t. And we all know closed mouths don’t get fed. Womp womp!

How many times have you ended up frustrated, annoyed or angry because your man acted differently than he ‘should’ have? How many times will you be disappointed because your lady didn’t take the actions you wanted her to?

I know it’s not always easy, but the only way around the shenanigans is to express those expectations. Give your partner the opportunity to make a conscious decision to please you. To give to you. To be there for you.

So stop shoulding all the time and talk more. It’s better than having to change your relationship’s pants so much.



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Jay Cadet


New York

Peanut butter aficionado, relationship coach and founder of [co]3 Studio, Gen-Y’s Premiere Relationship Studio, Jay Cadet is on a mission to help unmarried, millennial couples build the most strong and healthy relationships possible. For more on relationship tips and advice, couples events and private coaching opportunities, visit co3Studio.com

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