Not everyone moves on after a breakup. Some people don’t want the relationship to end, so they stay in the relationship. In their mind anyway. You may start to notice the warning signs of a problem- excessive phone calls and messages, showing up at your house or places they know you will be, and physically threatening you. It’s a serious situation, and you need to take action before something happens. here is what to do when an ex becomes a stalker.

Avoid All Contact

Don’t send mixed messages by talking to your ex out of pity. Make it clear that you are done, and you no longer think it’s wise to communicate with each other. Make sure that you say this clearly. If possible, send it in a text message and save the text message for proof of your attempts to eliminate contact.

Change Locks/Passwords

When in a relationship, you probably tell your significant other everything. You may even tell them where you spare key is and the password to your email address. Don’t take any chances and change everything. Call a locksmith to change your locks. You should also change all of your passwords. You may even want to increase your security. Install a security system and even carry mace with you.

Go to the Authorities

You do not have to tolerate someone stalking you. You should go to the authorities when you have uncomfortable interactions with your ex to keep everything on record. If they continue to cross the line, you may even be able to get a restraining order. If they break the restraining order, you will be able to press charges. While this may seem extreme, it can send a very clear message and keep your ex away.

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Recognize the Signs

Some people don’t understand that their ex is demonstrating stalker behavior. There are some people who don’t recognize the behavior, and there are other who don’t want to see the behavior. Either way, the victim is in danger. Keep your eyes open for the signs of a problem. Your ex should respect your boundaries, they shouldn’t touch or threaten you, and they should act rationally when you see them. Intense emotion does not equal love. It only shows poor self-control and possible mental instability.

You deserve to be safe. When an ex stalks you, you need to take a stand to keep you and the other people in your life safe.