Finding your Prince Charming or the girl of your dreams has never been harder, in the world of dating apps, casual hookups, and ghosting it seems like finding love is a mirage. But what if you just need to tweak a few things to make your dating life easier and find love quicker? Here are a few tips on how to be better at dating.
Knowing yourself is the quickest way to get better at dating. This seems counter-intuitive, surely concentrating on others will better your chances of finding love? Actually, focusing on yourself and getting to know yourself on an intimate level will help you find true love that matches you better. This is because the more you know yourself, the more intimately you get to know your flaws, the quicker you can grow and evolve. The more self-actualized a person you become, the more whole and grounded you become. This will allow you to find your authentic self which will then attract love. People are drawn to those who have high self-esteem, and self-love. The higher your self-esteem, the more magnetic you are, and the greater the quality of the people you attract.
Be Clear About What You Want
Create a list of non-negotiables. The greater clarity you have around what you want, the less nonsense you will take. When you aren’t super clear on what you want and what you are looking for, it is harder for you to have clarity when you meet people. You may accept things that go against the very fabric of who you are and compromise for someone who isn’t worth it. When you are clear on what you want and firm in sticking by that, you can say no when you need to and only accept the kind of person and love that you want. When it comes to muslim dating, it can hard to navigate the dating waters as everyone has different levels of what they find acceptable. The more clear you are with yourself and others, the easier it will be for you to avoid any awkward or ambiguous situations.
Make a list of all the things that are important to you, and when you meet people measure them against this list. This might seem a little cold or clinical but in actuality, it is a good way to figure out if a person is right for you. We can often get caught up in the moment, and ignore all the ways in which they are wrong for us.
Don’t Put Them On A Pedestal
A mistake many people make when dating is placing whoever they are dating on a pedestal. When you first meet someone it might seem easy as you don’t know them too well and very likely only know what they tell or show you. This is usually the highlight reel of who they are. Often, we find ourselves swept away by this and place them on a pedestal much higher than us. The danger of this is that when doing this you may begin to ignore red flags, place their interests and desires above yours and begin to betray yourself to seek their love. When we place them on a pedestal, we might allow ourselves to get in too deep with someone who might not be a great fit for us and by the time we realize this, it may be too late.
Instead of placing them on a pedestal, view them as objectively as you can. View them just as a person you are trying to get to know, someone who might have everything you want but also someone who might not, and that’s okay. Remind yourself that you will not settle for anything less than you deserve. Remind yourself that rejecting someone or not feeling a connection isn’t a bad thing, it is a service to yourself. A homage to your commitment to yourself and to being as authentic as possible. Once you have committed to yourself, you can then commit to someone else. True, vulnerable commitment takes guts, it takes courage, and it takes self-love.
Finding love means finding yourself. Finding commitment means committing to yourself first. The greater the commitment to yourself, the easier it will be to avoid everything and everyone that is not aligned with who you are. You will find it much easier to date and find love when you realize that you are your greatest love, and you are only finding someone to compliment that.