Choosing the people to stand alongside you on your wedding day is not an instant decision – or at least it shouldn’t be. Selecting your wedding party is a significant step that requires careful consideration.

Some of the choices could be easy; if you’re very close to one of your siblings, they’ll almost certainly be the best man or maid of honor.

Others might require a bit more thought, especially as you’ll want to select people who are trustworthy and mature enough to handle the responsibilities that come with being a bridesmaid or groomsman.

This infographic from Commins & Co aims to help you with choosing the right people for the various roles by highlighting exactly what each one involves.

There is no hard and fast rule regarding how many people you must select; that will probably depend on the number of guests attending.

Think quality and not quantity, because what matters most is having people alongside you who you can depend upon when the big day comes, and indeed in preparing for the wedding.

Selecting Your Wedding Party

You should give plenty of thought as to who you want to include in your wedding day party, as these will be the people who will stand alongside you and who will give their free time to ensure that everything is in place for the biggest day of your life.

Our infographic aims to help you with making your selection!

How many people should you pick?

• A typical wedding day party size is 4 people on either side, but this can vary depending on the number of guests in attendance.
• For smaller weddings with approx. 50-75 guests, it’s a good idea to start planning to have a larger wedding with 4-8 people. You could still keep the wedding day party to 3-4 people.
• While selecting your wedding party, increasing the size for larger weddings would make a lot of sense as more people are needed for preparation and organization. However, it is important to consider how much is required to plan, coordinate, and manage.
• You should pick a number with which you’re comfortable. If you feel comfortable, start from 3 or 4 and go up depending on what feels best.

Who are the best people to pick?

• The bride of honor is most likely to be the bride’s sister (closest in age if she has multiple sisters).
  Where she has no sisters, she will probably choose a close friend or family member.
• Likewise, the groom will most likely pick the brother closest in age to him as his best man but could select a close friend or family member if he has no brothers.
• While these are traditional choices, the bride and groom should be allowed to choose whoever they want to stand beside them on the big day.
  Ultimately, the best people to pick are those who are reliable enough to assume the roles responsibly and who will consistently come through for you when you need them the most.
• Other siblings of the bride and groom are likely to be included as bridesmaids or groomsmen, as are very close childhood friends.
  If the bride or groom has siblings under 18, they should be included as junior bridesmaids/groomsmen so that they don’t feel left out.
• When selecting your wedding party, younger children (ages 4-12) who are members of the bride’s or groom’s immediate family can be named as flower girls or ring bearers.
  But keep in mind that they should be comfortable doing so as they generally serve such roles in the ceremony. Children over 4, who are not too young, comprehend the tasks well.
• Children over 4, who are not too young, comprehend the tasks well. Including younger children in your wedding day party can add a special touch, but it’s important to ensure they are comfortable and understand their roles.

Duties of Your Wedding Party

Bride of Honour

• Delegate tasks to the bridesmaids to lighten the load for all in the important role.
• Accompany the bride in shopping for her dress & those of the bridesmaids.
• Inform guests as to where the couple has registered.
• Organize the wedding shower & hen party.
• Hold the bride’s bouquet during the ceremony.
• Sign the marriage certificate as a witness.

Best Man

• Accompany the groom in shopping for tuxedos for the groomsmen.
• Organize the stag party.
• Ensure that the groom gets to the ceremony on time.
• Hold the rings during the ceremony.
• Sign the marriage certificate as a witness.
• Make a speech at the reception.
• Ensure that the groom makes it to their accommodation at the end of the night.

Bridesmaids

• Assist the maid of honor in making those hen party & wedding shower events unforgettable.
• Attend all pre-wedding events, dress fittings, and lessons as required.
• Secure hotel rooms for guests.

Groomsmen

• Assist the best man in organizing the stag party.
• Serve as ushers on the wedding day.
• Attend all pre-wedding meetings as tuxedo fittings on time.
• Assist guests with any queries they have on the wedding day.

Flower Girl

• Walk down the aisle before the bride, scattering flowers as she goes.
• Gather the bride’s train when walking down the aisle.

Ring Bearer

• Walk down the aisle before the bride or groom, carrying the pillow with the wedding rings.
• Stand with the best man during the ceremony.

Advice for choosing your wedding party

• Don’t make any rash decisions on selecting people to be in your wedding day party. Give yourself time to decide if the people you have in mind will be up for taking on such important roles. If you’ve been head-first and asked someone to be a bridesmaid or groomsman and then changed your mind, there’s no going back, and that person is then left with having the honor taken from them.
• Don’t feel obliged to ask people to be in your wedding party purely because you were asked to be in theirs. There may be other ways that they can be involved in your special day, like being asked to do a reading or as a witness.
• Ensure that anyone selected as a bridesmaid or groomsman can cooperate with one another and won’t create a divided atmosphere. If they’ve had a previous falling out with one another, it’s best to ask someone else.
• If you want your wedding party to be heavily involved, make sure that they’re up for attending all pre-wedding events, dress fittings, rehearsals, and lessons.
• If there are people who you want to include in your big day, make sure to suggest roles such as master of ceremonies or usher. These roles are still meaningful but require much less effort or ceremony-related tasks.
• Ensure that anyone chosen for your wedding day party is up for the responsibility. If they live abroad, have a stressful work-life balance, or seem non-committed, they might not be able to perform the role in a meaningful manner.

Selecting Your Wedding Party Wisely

Selecting your wedding day party is one of the most important decisions you’ll make during your wedding planning. It’s essential to choose individuals who are not only close to you but also reliable and capable of handling the responsibilities that come with the role.

Remember, it’s about quality over quantity—what matters most is having a supportive and dependable group by your side to make your wedding day as memorable and stress-free as possible.